


Golden Eyes

by ElisAttack



Category: Flowers of Evil (Manhwa)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Obsession, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElisAttack/pseuds/ElisAttack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Gi-Hoon/Sung-Chan had never tried to contact the twins.  Seh-Wa was always the strongest. (Flowers of Evil, by Lee Hyeon-Sook)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden Eyes

 

When the only thing holding a relationship together is the memories of the past, can what we had really be called a relationship? All we left in our wake was destruction, and pain. We ruined so much out of spite and hatred for this world we lived in. I don’t even believe we truly loved each other.

 

Do you remember the story you used to tell me, the one about the little girl who was loved by all except for a kitten she found? You gave it a happy ending. When we were young, every time before I fell asleep, you would whisper the story into my ear, constantly saying the kitten grew up and came to love the girl, just as much as the girl loved it. I said I believed you, even though in my heart, I knew it wasn't true.

 

The day after your funeral I went through all of your belongings and found your precious collection of twisted fairy-tales. I read the whole volume from start to finish, including the story of the kitten. It was the only time I ever cried for you.

 

There were no happy endings within the covers of that book. The girl was cruel and malicious, and the kitten could see her true heart and consequently died for that knowledge. The girl slowly but surely ripped the creature apart, hoping at least one part she removed would be the portion that distrusted her. She mutilated the cat until all that was left was its eyes. In her society of sightless people the cat was the only one who saw the pandemonium in the girl’s eyes.  
It was in your eyes too. They revealed the truth, keeping nothing secret, nothing sacred, not even your deepest darkest desires. Your eyes put us in our predicament, and they escalated things further than we ever thought possible.

 

But god, they were beautiful, those eyes. The same vain eyes as mine. I could still look into them now, but I broke all the mirrors in our apartment. I cannot even bear to look at myself anymore, for I only see you. Your eyes; I wonder what they look like now, collapsing upon themselves and rotting away.

 

We really screwed up didn't we? What the hell were we thinking? Sometimes, I wish we could just go back and change everything, but, I know we’ll just make the same mistakes again and again. So many opportunities were given, we just didn't take them. We could have pretended the first kiss never happened, but we didn't.  We could have pretended the next one didn't either, but we didn't, and like dominoes falling, the passion just went from there, and all sense flew out the window.

 

But one cannot live on passion alone. Our relationship gave me nothing in return for how much I gave to it. It was unfulfilling and encompassing. Like a hungry infant it ate and ate, leaving naught but sun-bleached bones. I am not saying it was only your fault; it takes two people, after all I could have broken it at any time, but I didn't want that. You heaped praises upon praises on me, drowning me, suffocating me.  But oh, was it deliciously addictive, a drug with no cure; your admiration was a craving I could never shake off, never be free from.  But you adored me like a porcelain doll. Like something pretty to look at, too precious to truly love. I suspect it was your narcissism. You died staring too long into the pool, loving your reflection too much.

 

It could have been so easy to destroy. Just one word in the right ear and it could have collapsed in the blink of an eye. So easy, but still so hard. You knew I would never do anything to jeopardize your dreams. You were an extension of me, an appendage. Hurting you would be like ripping my own arm off, and I could never do that. Instead you did it to yourself.  
You mistook what we had for something you were free to play with. You would set me up with your friends, whispering delicious words about me in their ears, allowing them to touch me and throw me away. Then you would blame me. Say I was too pathetic to keep them. Say I broke up with them on purpose because I wanted to ruin you, to throw you to the ground and grind you into the dirt.

 

And oh, I really wanted to! You said all those things, but I knew that it was you who threatened them to abandon me. Even after they left, it wasn't enough for you. You did everything in your power to ruin them, claiming that they broke my precious sweet heart. You didn't know that I asked every single one of them why they left, did you? You thought me stupid; even though you constantly complimented me on my intelligence and beauty. Do you remember what they called me? The Ice Queen. I became known by that title throughout high school and university. Because of you I was known as the revengeful, cold-hearted bitch who could not keep a relationship for more than a month.

 

But perhaps I really am stupid; after all why else did I remain with you? You were weak, pathetic, and had trouble asserting your dominance in our relationship. You took power forcefully, trying to do everything your way, never giving me a chance.

 

I can still recall the first and last time you hit me, the stinging slap across my face, and the redness that remained for so long after.  You cried.  I had to sit by your side comforting you.  Why?  Why was I at fault for what you chose to do?  Your eyes red, while I could still feel the tight pull of the damaged crimson mark on my face.  You never hit me again.  Your guilt and passiveness prevented that, I don’t think you could have ever born to see the look of accusation I leveled at you ever again.    

 

But now that it’s over I can’t help but look back. We did have something amazing didn't we? And even though it was unhealthy for both of us, it lasted for so long. You know how people always say you can only find that fated person once in your life? I know some who do not even have that privilege. Were you my one? I don’t know.  I wonder if I ever will. I did love you, somewhat insanely and I don’t think I could ever feel that way about someone else ever again.  Bittersweet was always my favourite chocolate.

 

And still all I know is that you were not an individual that society would classify as healthy, the awful things you did, I wonder if you used to reminisce about them, thinking back to all people you hurt.  Sometimes I would catch you in a private moment, staring out of the window, lost in your thoughts.  What was it that you were thinking about, the frailty of the universe and all its creatures, and how easy they are to break?  Or was it something more mundane, more human?

 

Was it about me, were you thinking the same thing that I am now?  Did you realize it sooner than I did?  Did you love me and hate me as much as I do now?  Or was what you felt for me a twisted sort of love, tainted with possession and verbal violence?  Now that you are gone, I guess I will never know.

 

All I have left to tell you as I stand before you now, as you are buried six feet under the damp unyielding clay, is inevitability.  I will never come here again, I am going back home, back to the home you stole from me.  You are dead and gone and there is nothing left here for me.  This outcome was unavoidable and I am sorry, but you were the path to your own undoing.  I will start over, fall in love again, and I will forget you, but you will never leave me; my mind, my body, they are full of the reminders of you.  But my heart has moved on, and that is what is important.  

**Author's Note:**

> This manhwa needs more fics...  
> Seh-Joon is terrible, He is a great character, but a horrible person, so I had to kill him off, again. I adore Seh-Wa, and I think that once she realized just what Seh-Joon was, she could move on from the obsession they have for each other.  
> So what if Gi-Hoon/Sung-Chan never showed up? Seh-Joon would just explode in his inner battle with his relationship to God, his beloved twin, and his parents, and would end up committing suicide, Seh-Wa needs to overcome that burden, but she was always much stronger than Seh-Joon.


End file.
